Women, you can’t live with them, you can’t shoot them.

I just read the dumbest presentation on a dating site EVER. “My name is xxx and I like to do stuff”. Really? You like to do stuff? Like stuff, stuff? Or just stuff? What the fuck has happened to humanity, and by humanity I mean women, and by women I mean these incredibly retarded people I keep running in to.

I was out on a lunch thing, very casual and short. 2 weeks later I get a letter: “Sorry I haven’t gotten in touch with you until now. I’ve been busy thinking about us (WTF?!) and if there is really a romantic connection between us.”

Now, that’s some speed dating motherfucker right there. We had sushi and talked for like what… 45 minutes and she is already sitting at home contemplating about if we are romantically compatible. Give me a break. She finished the email by writing about how I am the most interesting person she has ever met and that she really admires me. Oh get off it… we are not talking about romantic compatibility. We are talking about very straight and forward “I don’t want your dick inside me”.

My friends often say I have a big mouth and that I sometimes sound as if sex is the only thing on my mind. To be honest, it’s quite the opposite. There is so much more that comes before sex that even if I am on a date and hit it off, I would still not take a chica home and get down. Come on, what am I? An animal? If I’m that horny, believe me… I rather please myself then just to hook up with some nameless, faceless person. If I go to bed with someone, I want to wake up with that someone and make some fucking pancakes or what not. If it’s anything short of that, I leave it alone.

So, future dates and future bed mates… I want to get to know you before I get inside you. And if we don’t end up in bed we are still people, you know… social interacting human beings. Don't reduce me to some retarded animal. Everything does not have to be a mission, a conquest for the ultimate whatever. Right now I’m quite happy making love to my camera; at least there I know what buttons to push to make it work, and come.